This blog will be up until you forget me and it.
When I said forever I meant it.
I just can’t be with you now. It hurts to think this might be what the rest of my days are but I can’t just walk away from who I am. I trust that if this love was intended for forever I won’t be without you for very long. You’re my best friend and watching you go was quite possibly the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I will always be around to support you. I will always be around to take care of you, should you ever require it. I am by no means separate from you. I locked your last message and am saving it for a rainy day. I will wear this necklace until it rots off my neck. You are all of my fondest memories. You are all of my wildest dreams. Never will a bad word about you come from between my lips. I will defend you until I can no longer defend anything.
I’ve spent the bulk of today chain smoking in Erika’s van, blasting five finger, and talking about you. You were perfect. You are perfect.
But I am not healthy and I can’t ask you to stay with me when I’m a stranger to myself. I hope to god that you will forgive me. Someday at the very least. I wish you every happiness in the world. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the one to give them to you.
Please don’t erase me.
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